Boris Nurdbongleur Dodges the Credit Crunch

Tim Price:

Speaking on condition of anonymity, Marti Peeps, a spokesman for the bank, admitted that he was gloomy on prospects for the sector, notwithstanding Societe Bancaire de Neasden’s surprise results.

“This has come in the wake of other debacles within the group, and indeed from all other banks, in real estate lending, securitised lending, high yield, subprime investment and hedge fund sponsorship. I foresee a flight to liquidity followed by possibly severe depression – but enough of my plans for the evening.”