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Thursday, August 21, 2003

Metrosexuality

Four years ago, I went to a wonderful wedding on an island in the Thames, between a hot young MBA and a hotter, younger stand up comic turned newspaper columnist. The columnist, protocol be damned, decided she was going to give a speech at her own wedding, and gave a corker. The highlight was when she started to talk about her new groom's bathroom cabinet, and whether she'd ever manage to get any space in there for herself. She recalled a conversation with her father: "Don't worry, I said, you're not losing a daughter. You're gaining one."

I would like to think that this wedding constituted the impetus for the coinage of America's latest buzzword: after all, everybody knows that the US imports everything cool from the UK. But, alas, although the word did indeed take root in England before crossing the pond, it had already been around for five years when the wedding took place.

Still, the meme took off incredibly slowly. Its first significant appearance in the US came in July 2002, when queer theorist Mark Simpson, the man who'd first introduced the term in the Independent in 1994, wrote an article in Salon called "Meet the metrosexual". One year later, an article by Warren St John headlined "Metrosexuals Come Out" appeared in the New York Times, and the meme metastasized from snowball to avalanche, helped along by a report from advertising agency Euro RSCG called "Metrosexuals: The Future of Men".

In the meantime, it's undergone an interesting emasculation. Simpson says that when he invented the term he "was being slightly satirical about the effect of consumerism and media proliferation, particularly glossy men’s magazines, on traditional masculinity". Now, we get Dan Peres, the editor of Details, opining humourlessly on the subject at washingtonpost.com. In the introduction to the chat session, the editors define a metrosexual as "a new kind of male: one who takes care of himself -- pampers himself -- and is not ashamed of getting facials, buying grooming products and shopping", but by the time the chat is over, Peres has said that "if you feel comfortable and confident with your own taste and sense of style, then yes, you may well be a metrosexual", and that really, what we're talking about here is nothing more or less than being a gentleman.

Yet going back to Simpson's Salon piece, we find this:

Mr. Beckham, candid to the point of blatant exhibitionism as he is, is not being entirely honest with us about his sexuality. Outing someone is not a thing to be contemplated lightly, but I feel it is my duty to let the world know that David Beckham, role model to hundreds of millions of impressionable boys around the world, heartthrob for equal numbers of young girls, is not heterosexual after all. No, ladies and gents, the captain of the England football squad is actually a screaming, shrieking, flaming, freaking metrosexual. (He'll thank me for doing this one day, if only because he didn't have to tell his mother himself.)

It's clear what has happened here: as the term has become more mainstream, it's, well, become more mainstream. At this point, if you believe Peres, it applies to anybody who "knows the difference between a daisy and a daffodil"; Simpson himself quotes the marketing report (of course, it's the marketers who have really pushed this concept) saying that a metrosexual is "any straight man who has a salmon pink shirt in his wardrobe".

Maybe something got lost in translation: after all, pretty much every straight man, in the UK at least, has a salmon pink shirt in his wardrobe. John Major used to wear them the whole time, and he's about as far from a metrosexual as can be imagined. The only men I can think of who only wear white shirts are bizarre zealots like Ross Perot and John Ashcroft, who aren't so much anti-colour as they are opposed to any sign of sexuality whatsoever.

I think what's going on here is that a debate which has long been going on in the gay community is being expanded into the straight community. Metrosexuality is a response to sissyphobia, which is the idea – common to men both straight and gay – that there's something offputting about effeminate men. As Patrick puts it on the Gothamist comments board, "the guys who get the most shit are not necessarily those who are gay but rather those who act gay, a high percentage of whom are straight".

Why did the joke at the wedding get such a big laugh? Because caring about personal appearance, owning lots of Product in the bathroom, is considered effeminate. And that's precisely what keeps a large proportion of straight men from buying designer clothes or investing in their appearance, even if the basest of men's magazines – I pick up the copy of Loaded I have lying around from my July 19 entry – have pages and pages full of grooming products along with £280 ($445) leather Hermes sandals.

So while Peres is keen to place clear blue water between metrosexuality and the success of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, I'm not so sure: both are phenomena which have caught on across the country and which have served to increase the country's general comfort level with effeminate heterosexual men.

On my recent trip to California (yes, that's why this site hasn't been updated in so long), I met extremely straight, suburban, Republican men from towns like Tustin and San Jose. All had heard of metrosexuals, and none of them seemed perturbed by the concept, although they might never swing that way themselves. I doubt they'll be booking themselves in for manicures or shelling out hundreds of dollars for designer trousers any time soon, but that's not the point. The point is how they will react when they meet men who do fall into that category: will they respond with fear and aggression, or will they be more likely to embrace such predilections as just another lifestyle choice, like a preference for ice hockey over baseball?

As Simon Dumenco writes in New York magazine, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy "brings gay style—and wit—to the hinterlands. The show makes homosexuality and shopping nonthreatening for straight men (the latter may be the bigger achievement)." He continues:

The real agenda at play these days is, of course, the Buysexual Agenda. As in: You are what you buy (not who you sleep with). It’s a uniquely American idea that the nation that shops together stays together. If homos and heteros like the same moisturizers and the same jeans, why can’t we all get along?

In short, memes can make a difference: as metrosexuality becomes more widely understood, it makes the world (or at least America) safer for gay and gay-acting men. And if it takes increased sales of $1,000 messenger bags in order for that to happen, then surely that's a small price to pay.

Posted by Felix at 19:01 EST

Comments

There's something incredibly appealing about having Product conversations with boys... and I'm sure if we compared closets with who has the most lables, I'd be on my ass. Still, it gives girls the incentive to go further - strive for a more cosmopolitan closet, and not feel so guilty about spending hunderds of dollars on dermatologist formulated face cream and lemon verbena body wash.

Posted by: Michelle at 9:52 EST, August 22, 2003

It isn't all about the Product, though it is a fantastic part of it, but that is seemingly the only focus for marketers who are pushing the concept. "How can we get more revenue from our creams? Ok, lets call them gels and put them in manly grey metal tubes. No, 'gun metal grey' tubes!" Yes, it does work but only if the product is good -- we are rather discerning consumers.

Posted by: Karru at 13:56 EST, August 22, 2003

I'm a little perplexed by the metrosexual thing and I wish someone would explain it to me. It seems like a recycled idea, a classification of males now go by the term "metrosexual" have been around since at least the late 17th century. Men use to wear tights, wigs and make up dontcha know! They have evolved throughout the years, but manifestations of "metrosexuals" can be seen in every culture epoch.
So why all the hype?

Posted by: Jason at 15:06 EST, August 22, 2003

Yes, Jason you are right. Just a mere century and few odd years ago they were called:

fops
n.
A man who is preoccupied with and often vain about his clothes and manners; a dandy.
[Middle English, fool probably akin to Middle English fob, trickster, cheat.]

Posted by: Terri at 15:42 EST, August 22, 2003

Salon also published this article several years ago about "Straight Fairies" by Carol Lloyd. Not exactly metrosexuals, but taking on the notion of a straight guy who displays tendencies that society typically associates with gay men.

http://www.salon.com/weekly/fairies960729.html

Posted by: Princess at 10:19 EST, August 23, 2003

to michelle's point:

http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n4/htdocs/donts.php

"Couples in L.A. (or South Beach, whatever) are so fucking oblivious. The men wear hair products and wax their chests and care about their figure, thus, in order to try to keep upping the feminine ante, the women have to become these heavily altered �bergirls that look more like transsexuals than chicks. All this �keeping up with the Joneses� of grooming has turned them both into drag queens. Ha ha"

Posted by: eggbert at 14:09 EST, August 24, 2003

I might mention on other reason guys of the age or corporate reference list like Ashcroft and Perot might sgtill be wearing white only shirts...former employment at IBM at anytime prior to 1999. They had a white shirt /club tie dress policy for many years. Perhaps Perot's company, sinced it worked hand-in-hand with Unca Sam for many years (EDS?) had the same rule.

I did a few IBM Corp. events way back when, and particularly enjoyed wearing a STRIPED shirt if I could whenever I did their gigs ... since I wasn't employed by them, I could get away with it.

Posted by: Richard at 11:15 EST, August 25, 2003

I think one of the most interesting aspects of the metrosexual meme is how seriously so many people have chosen to take it. Simpson conceived the word in jest, or at least satire. St. John wrote about it in a very light hearted way (even if he quite seriously and rightly predicted a soon-to-arrive 'metrosexual moment'). And yet so much of the conversation around metrosexuality is so dourly earnest, as though the word were on par with 'Episcopalians' or 'white people' instead of "yuppies" or "valley girls." It's a very effective term at summing up a vague cultural happening that, yes, probably has happened before -- don't forget Plato liked men as well as women, and George Washington wore a powdered wig -- but that nevertheless neatly pegs a small but real cultural 'thing' happening in America now (and in the UK ten years ago). Those who get riled up by the term should save their outrage for a topic more worthy.

Posted by: Roger at 16:03 EST, August 27, 2003

while I find the hot new debate of this hot new buzzword intriguing, I question the actual Need for words like this. Who really Needs to define someone by thier shopping and hygenic habits? Buzzwords like this mostly provide a politically correct put-down, a stereotype. To my mind, the people who claim 'invention' of this sort of popcorn-clever syntax are just bullying wordsmiths. 'oooh look everyone, I made up a cool way of saying poofer', or whatever. These are the same people who maligned us in highschool fer crissakes - punk, geek, looser, burnout, fag, nerd... remember those clever memes?

Posted by: eric at 22:46 EST, August 27, 2003

The word "fop" implies that the fellow so labeled isn't exactly the brightest bulb in the box.

The nineteenth-century "dandy" is closer to today's "metrosexual," especially given the urban origins of both types.

Posted by: Tim Hulsey at 2:46 EST, September 04, 2003

In case folks want views on metrosexuality from outside the anglophone world, the German middlebrow magazine stern has a couple of articles in its latest edition:
http://www.stern.de/lifestyle/leute/index.html?id=512616&nv=hp_st
German language, of course.

Posted by: Charles Stewart at 2:30 EST, September 09, 2003

If you want to actually interact with aspiring Metrosexuals, or just observe their interaction, this is the best site for that:

http://www.modellaunch.com/

It's a male model website with a forum where all these straight guys talk endlessly about their hair products, getting firmer abs, etc. (It's also a well-designed site).

Posted by: Monty at 11:11 EST, September 20, 2003

What a load of rubbish. Meterosexuality? Does it really need a word. It's a non event nowadays. Loads of men act this way, and so what. Does not Mr Salmon have anything more relavent to write about? He'll be searching the hidden ethos behind why women have careers next. Wake up to the 21st century please.

Posted by: Sara at 13:35 EST, October 28, 2003

I for one think it's a great topic and needs to be studied more. Unfortunately, I wasn't too impressed with the actual article, but either way- its needs to be more on the frontline. I know too many metro's and it would make them feel better- that way the hot girls can stop accusing them of being too gay or having too many gay friends. I think nothing more is attractive, yumm!

Posted by: Alijah at 5:45 EST, February 05, 2004

i think there's nothing wrong 'bout metrosexuality. why bother or make a fuss 'bout it? it's no big deal! and i think it's cool!!! hail to all metrosexuals out there! you rockkk!!

Posted by: ruean at 22:55 EST, March 13, 2004

Yes,Yes,Yes.......yummy is the way of Meterosexuality! I agree with Sara, this topic needs more studing....i mean come on, its just a way to express ones self! Its all in diversity!

Posted by: Billy at 18:12 EST, March 20, 2004

what does everyone here think about the obvious differences between men and women as a whole concerning temperments, attitudes and overall emotional make-ups?

Posted by: Robbie Byrd at 14:00 EST, March 10, 2005

Labelling....thats what it comes down to, the need for humanity to catagorise each other so that we feel comfortable with 'difference'.

Men who like to look their best but are straight go against the old cultural norms, so we got scared and compared them to the homosexual but then on the insistance that these 'new men' where in fact staright we tried to compare them to the 'classic' straight man but this did not work either as the straight man said 'NO' we dont do grooming, then we were left with the image but nothing to call 'it' so we invented one.

A metrsexual is seen as the 'straight gay man'so what the hell is a 'gay straight man' look like?

In fact why bother at all, we should say 'he grooms and likes men', 'he groomes and likes women', he doesnt groom and likes men', he doesnt groom and likes women'.

Done!

Posted by: Amelia at 21:36 EST, May 06, 2005

I find myself surrounded by lots of gay men since the nation has accepted them as part of the human race. I like them because, at least in my circles, they are intelligent, thoughtful, talented and have a flair for the practice of good living.
They accept me as being a straight guy (odd!) and treat me with the same accord they have for each other.
The whole of this is, I realized I AM a straight guy with a gay attitude . Have been almost all my life. In fact other men realized this before I was aware of it, and caused me grief that produced a violent reaction from me. I became "manly" and confronted those antagonists mentally and physically, and for some years, I overeacted to their fears.
My realization came only a week ago, and when i announced my discovery, I was immediately identified as being a "Metro."
Further inquires about this led a friend of mine to scoff, stating, " -- it's just another fad,"

I doubt this, since my experiences for more than forty years leads me to beilieve I'm not a faddist; I care for my health, my looks, my environment and my taste in arts. I also find emotions run deeply within me and I respond to sorrow and joy without embarrassment.
In short, I think a "manly man" lives in fear of other's opinions, and tries to cover his frailties through violence to his own and other's sensibilities.
It's really great to have been identified, albeit, with yet another 'Label", but there it is.

Metro- Man! Fear not! I come to my own rescue!

Posted by: Chen-Guang at 12:08 EST, July 23, 2005

I have metrosexual friends and I can never be more proud of them!!! My friend, Ric*, and I love to go shopping together and getting our nails done...so more power to metrosexuality!!!!

Posted by: Lynette Hunt at 21:18 EST, October 02, 2005

what caused metrosexuality to expand rapidly anyway?

Posted by: sally at 9:50 EST, February 21, 2006

i still don't get it. where do you draw the line between being gay and being metrosexual?

Posted by: susy at 23:13 EST, July 07, 2006

The difference is simple. Gay men sleep with other men. Metrosexuals don't. There's your "line in the sand". The term is thrown about primarily by marketers and people who watch too much American Idol. It is fast becoming a non-issue. A vocabu-fad, such as "what a shocking bad hat!". Ta-da!

Posted by: RL at 17:35 EST, December 14, 2006