How to Survive the Crisis: Sleep, Get High

Andrew Lahde isn’t running money any more, and boy is he glad to be out of the game. His final letter to investors is a true classic, and even ends with a paean to marijuana:

I will no longer manage money for other people or institutions. I have enough of my own wealth to manage. Some people, who think they have arrived at a reasonable estimate of my net worth, might be surprised that I would call it quits with such a small war chest. That is fine; I am content with my rewards. Moreover, I will let others try to amass nine, ten or eleven figure net worths. Meanwhile, their lives suck… Give up on leaving your mark. Throw the Blackberry away and enjoy life.

So this is it. With all due respect, I am dropping out. Please do not expect any type of reply to emails or voicemails within normal time frames or at all…

I now have time to repair my health, which was destroyed by the stress I layered onto myself over the past two years, as well as my entire life…

The evil female plant — marijuana. It gets you high, it makes you laugh, it does not produce a hangover. Unlike alcohol, it does not result in bar fights or wife beating. So, why is this innocuous plant illegal? Is it a gateway drug? No, that would be alcohol, which is so heavily advertised in this country. My only conclusion as to why it is illegal, is that Corporate America, which owns Congress, would rather sell you Paxil, Zoloft, Xanax and other additive drugs, than allow you to grow a plant in your home without some of the profits going into their coffers. This policy is ludicrous. It has surely contributed to our dependency on foreign energy sources.

Well done on dropping out, Andrew. Virtually everybody in finance is getting too much stress and too little sleep these days, from Kevin Warsh "working almost around the clock seven days a week" to another former Treasury official who’s started sending ill-tempered and ill-advised missives to bloggers at all hours of the night.

So here’s my bailout plan: everybody should start making like David Einhorn, and take a regular nap every afternoon. It’s a guaranteed way of improving everybody’s decision making. And if you want Lahde-like returns, maybe they should fire up a doobie once in a while, too.

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