Hirst: Worst. Timing. Ever.

Let’s say you’re a nouveau-riche hedge-fund manager with a penchant for splashing your cash. Even so, today, of all days, you’re really not going to have any desire to kick off work early and go drop a few million bucks on a Damien Hirst. Just as well an historic auction of more than $200 million of his works isn’t scheduled to begin at 2pm Eastern time. Oh, never mind.